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Disney's the Reboot
Disney's the Reboot is the Season 18 premiere of Family Guy. Synopsis Disney buys FOX and does a total overhaul of Family Guy, by rebooting the series in a multitude of different, very "Disney-esque" ways. The reboots receive rather questionable feedback from focus groups. Plot Framing Device Disney conducts a focus group with the thought of canceling and then immediately rebooting Family Guy. Disney executive, Harry Von Jyner holds a focus group test in the Glendale Galleria. The Griffin Family watches the focus group testers from the other side of a one-way mirror. Lois! Their first effort is on making a feminist reboot of Family Guy, featuring Lois as the main character, and properly titling the show "Lois!". Lois! features Lois as a busy executive up-and-comer with Peter relegated to a house husband. Lois goes to work at the Pawtucket Fine Winery, where her boss is Sheila. Lois is nearly cheated out of a promotion when Smarmy J. Tiestraightener tries to one-up her at her job. Peter poses as a big executive who credits Lois for landing his contract, Lois is given the promotion but as Peter walks away and removes his mask, Lois pulls his face off to reveal it a mask covering her face since it is her show. The pair continue to pull successive masks off until Peter is left as a bare skull. The Q The next effort is titled "The Q", a gritty supernatural teen drama series, where everyone is hypersexualized. After Meg is killed, Chris, Patty, Neil, Stewie, and Ruth all go to a club. When Connie slips away to get her nipples hard in the rain, she is attacked by a wolf. Hearing her scream inside the club, the rest of the teens as well as Quagmire follow, revealing themselves to be minor Marvel characters. Before they can act, the town sheriff, Peter kills the wolf, having been the town sheriff all along as it changes to Brian. After Brian dies, Chris' actor becomes way too famous to be on the show and so he leaves it, ruining the show for everyone else. Family Guy Again The third effort is a reboot of the show called "Family Guy Again", which is the exact same show, only the majority of the actors have left the show due to becoming more famous and doing better things, while the minor characters are forced to hold up the series all by themselves. Family Guy Again is about Chris Griffin living in a farmhouse with his wife, Tricia Takanawa. Chris has a Newhart phone call with Stewie, where he explains the in-universe exampled of how the other main characters have been written off the show. Stewie and Brian moved to Australia, Peter and Lois died, and Meg was abducted by aliens. Chris and Tricia Takanawa are cohabiting with Joe Swanson, who lives in the basement, where he plays his records and uploads them on the internet, but when Joe becomes troublesome, Tricia makes Chris kick him out. Shortly after being kicked out, Joe gets noticed by Steve, who says that he loves his work and wants to hire him to be a participant in his paraplegic record company, "Record-Spin". Joe happily obliges and takes up the job and he becomes famous from his records. During the montage of Joe getting more and more famous, he suddenly stops appearing altogether and it's later explained by Tricia that Joe became so famous, that he too moved on from the show. When a new character is needed to keep the show running, Chris drives out to a bunch of unemployed Mexicans standing outside of a hardware store and chooses one to join the cast. This Mexican in Ernesto Gonzalez from the critically panned and long-cancelled series, Bordertown. Aftermath The group wants to call it quits as Peter angrily confronts them. Finding out they want something binge-worthy, he quickly presents a show that only features a few moments of footage an episode. Bouncing around other ideas, he finds that the group likes other shows so he creates other short versions of them. The host of the group suddenly announces that Family Guy will remain as-is after the executives discover that the orders to change the show came from a squirrel that snuck into the building. The family is happy just to have the show the way it normally is, although they can see one little concession had to be made as Joe arrives with his big band records with the mandate to include more of him in the show. Characters Major Roles *Harry Von Gyner *Peter Griffin *Lois Griffin *Chris Griffin *Meg Griffin *Stewie Griffin *Brian Griffin *Smarmy J. Tie-Straightener *Neil Goldman *Ruth Rutherford *Connie D'amico *Glenn Quagmire *Tricia Takanawa *Steve Minor Roles *Joe Swanson *Cleveland Brown *Sheila *Judy Greer *Dana Walden *Gary Newman *Stella (Cameo) *Opie (Cameo) *Consuela De La Morrela (Cameo) *Jerome Cool J (Cameo) *Ernesto Gonzalez (Cameo) *Bonnie Swanson (Mentioned) *Kevin Swanson (Mentioned) *Susie Swanson (Mentioned) Quotes :Peter: That woman looks exactly like me. :Lois: That's your reflection, Peter. :Peter: Oh ... I'm beautiful. ---- :Von Jiner: As you may or may not care, Family Guy is in it's 17th season, and since FOX is now owned by Disney, which will someday be owned by Netflix, which will someday be owned by Pornhub, we have decided that Family Guy is ready for a reboot. ---- :Von Jiner: As most unfunny women will tell you, women are very funny. ---- :Lois: Here's your breakfast, kids. :Chris: Wow, chopped up fruits and kale. Thanks, mom. :Meg: You're a good-hearted American citizen, mom. Unlike our current president. ---- :Peter: Good morning, Goddess. You know, I just want to say again that you were totally right last night to bring up that thing I did wrong eleven years ago and please feel free to bring it up again any time, even if we're talking about something completely unrelated. :Lois: Thank you, Peter. I will. :Peter: chuckles I ... I know you will. ---- :Judy Greer: How was your night last night? :Lois: Great. I worked out, made dinner, little family time, and had Peter's ankles up in the air, by 11:00. ---- :Lois: Oh my God! Peter, there's a spider in here! :is tangled up in a giant spider web :Peter: Yeah, I know, genius. ---- :Smarmy J. Tiestraightener III: I hit a gay jogger on my way to work today. ---- :Lois: I'm just worried I might lose the promotion to Smarmy J. Tiestraightener III. :Meg: sarcastic Wow, a very professional and highly competent woman losing a high position of power to a stupid, scummy, and reprehensible man. Never heard of that before. ---- :Lois: I just don't know what to do about this thing at work. :Peter: Are-are we still talking about that? I mean, it's fine if we are. We-we just ... we talked about it before dinner and-and during dinner and after dinner. ---- :Lois: I'll make a vision board. See my success and be my success. :Peter: My testosterone is so low, I could not have thought of that. ---- :business man who gave Lois a promotion takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Peter :Peter: What can I say? I love my wife. However, it wasn't me who saved her. :takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Lois :Lois: It was me! Because I'm a do-it-yourself woman who doesn't need a man to solve my problems. :takes off her mask, revealing herself to be Peter :Peter: Wait, what? How could you be both here and there? That doesn't make any sense. It should be me. :takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Lois :Lois: Eh, it's my show. Why shouldn't this be me? :takes off her mask, revealing herself to be Peter :Peter: Because I'm the funny one. :takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Lois :Lois: Not on this show, you're not. :takes off her mask, revealing herself to be Quagmire :Quagmire: Yeah, I'' am. Giggity. :takes his mask off, revealing himself to be Lois'' :Lois: No, I am! Neither of you are the funny ones, especially not you, Peter! :takes off her mask, revealing herself to be Peter :Peter: Or am I? :rips the flesh off of his face, revealing his bloody skeleton underneath :Peter: Uhp, I thought we had one more face. ---- :Focus Group Tester: You know what? I don't really get Family Guy. :Von Jiner: Well, to be fair, your not really the target demographic. It's mainly a show for teenagers who grew up in the 80's. ---- :Peter: Hey, what's going on in that room? :a focus group, watching The Griffins' focus group through a one-way mirror :Brian: It's a focus group of Arby's executives, watching us eat. ---- :is in the same shower room as the boys :Ruth: Hey, guys. :Chris: Hey, Ruth. Good gender fluid shower? :Ruth: Great gender fluid shower. ---- :Chris: Connie, what's wrong? Why aren't you in bitch class? ---- :Chris: I'm gonna go to a club I'm too young to get into a listen to a band that's owned by the same parent company as the network. ---- :Stewie: Hey! Who left their gender fluid in the shower? ---- :Von Jiner: I know you've been here all day, but it's not like you have jobs to go to, so I'm going to show you one more reboot idea. ---- :Focus Group Tester: Which Wi-Fi should we be logging into? :Von Jiner: Glendale Galleria Public. :Focus Group Tester: Yeah, that's what I've been trying. ---- :Chris: No, still no kids, but I've been practicing a lot by myself. ---- :talks to "Stewie" on the phone in his spin-off series :Chris: Okay, give my love to Brian and Meg and hopefully we can come down there for the season finale. No? You're just not gonna be a part of this at all? Okay, then, bye Stewie. ---- :Tricia: Chris, I'm standing here in the living room because I need to talk to you about something very important. :Chris: Look, we've been over this. It's my house and I wanna wear shoes in it. :Tricia: Chris, I offer you a choice. You can either get rid of the shoes, or you can stop having sex with this age-defying Eastern physique. :to outside of the house; Chris' shoes are thrown out the window; Laugh track laughs :to inside of the house :Chris: Alright, now how 'bout some sex? :Tricia: I consent. It is so nice to have sexual intercourse in a quiet and isolated room, where the only two people present, are us. :enters, with a record player on his lab and two giant records replacing the wheels on his wheelchair :Joe: Hey, you guys! :claps :Joe: Who wants to listen to my new song? :Chris: Joe, get out! We're trying to be alone! :Joe: Just listen. It's awesome. :plays the record and dances to it :Joe's Record: singing HI! MY NAME IS JOE! I HAVE A WIFE AND TWO KIDS AND I DIED AT THE BUTTON FACTORY! I DON'T WORK THERE! I JUST DIED THERE! I DON'T HAVE A JOB! I JUST MAKE OLD RECORDS IN THE BASEMENT OF MY FRIENDS, CHRIS AND TRICIA! I'M ALWAYS AROUND THEM EVERY WAKING MINUTE, EVEN WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO HAVE SEX! :slams the record out of Joe's lap and it shatters on the ground; the laugh track laughs :Joe: Come on, Chris! That's the eighth time this week, you've shattered one of my big band records! smug Keep it up and you'll have a broken record for most broken records. :track laughs :Chris: sarcastic Ha ha ha. normal Joe, you've told that joke so many times that now, you sound like a broken record. :track laughs ---- :is thrown out the window by Chris :Joe: Luckily, I'm the town windower. For me, every day is a pane. :track laughs ---- :Joe: Man, I don't have a job or a place to live. What am I gunna do? :enters :Steve: Oh my God. Are you Joe Swanson? :Joe: Yeah! How'd you know? :Steve: I've heard your record songs on your website. I'm a huge fan. :Joe: Well, thank you. And you are ... :Steve: Steve. Steve Walking. :tracks laughs :Steve: Listen. I'm a record producer for Record-Spin. How would you like to be my new client? :Joe: Yeah! Fame and fortune, here I come! :of Joe becoming famous off of his records; Halfway through the montage Joe suddenly stops appearing :Steve: Where is my client? :enters :Tricia: Steve, I'm standing here to tell you that Joe became so famous off of his record music, that he became too famous for the show and moved on to have greater success with an ugly public divorce. :enters :Chris: What!? But that means we're the only three characters on the show! We can't hold up a series with just us! :Steve: Then what we're going to need is to hire another unemployed bum, looking for work. :to Chris driving out to a bunch of Mexicans, standing outside of a hardware store :Chris: I'm looking for a sit-com actor. Any takers? :Ernesto: offscreen Pick me! :shows [[Ernesto Gonzalez] from Bordertown] :Ernesto: Please take me. I need the work, man. ---- :enters the focus group testing room :Peter: Everybody shut up! :Focus Group Tester: Hey, it's the sheriff from The Q! ---- :Peter: Yes, unemployable neck tattoo guy. :Unemployable Neck Tattoo Guy: It's a bible verse. :Peter: Doesn't matter. Anything above the Adam's apple, mean's drugs. ---- :Focus Group Tester #1: I like Netflix. Could you be Netflix? :Focus Group Tester #2: Yeah, Netflix is awesome. :Peter: 'Course it's awesome. It's Netflix. Look, we're stuck being FOX. We have to deal with it, okay? ---- :Focus Group Tester: You know what's a great show on Netflix? F is for Family. You should be more like that. :Peter: I thought you said the animated family sitcom was done to death! :Focus Group Tester: Yeah, but F is for Family puts a creative spin on it, by having the father be a furious, profane badass instead of yet another bumbling buffoon. That's all you really need to change. :Peter: Sounds easy enough. :turns the TV on to a reboot titled "F is for Family Guy"; The Griffin Family sits around a table, in the 1970's and Peter comes in, pissed off :Peter: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? THE FUCKING PHONE BILL IS THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF! WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING BITCHES IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS FUCKING SHIT!? :Meg: Sorry, dad. That's me. I was calling my boyfriend over our new 1970's rotary dial telephone. :Peter: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, MEG! YOU WASTEFUL FUCKING GLOB OF MY OVERDEVELOPED JIZZ! I'LL PUT YOU THROUGH THAT FUCKING WALL! :puts Meg through the wall and breaks a huge hole in it; Quagmire shows up, looking big and fat like Goomer :Quagmire: Hey, there, Peter. Having some financial issues? :Peter: YES, QUAGOOMER! MY FUCKING DAUGHTER HAS BEEN CALLING HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND OVER THE FUCKING PHONE THROUGHOUT ALL OF LAST FUCKING MONTH! :Quagmire: Oh, don't sweat it, Pete. I'll help pay it off. After all, I was on the other end of that line. Giggity. :Peter: Oh, thanks, Quagoomer. I really appreciate i ... WHAT THE FUCK!!!??? ---- :Focus Group Tester #1: God, that was horrible! :Peter: What!? :Focus Group Tester #2: Yeah, it was way too crude! :Peter: How so!? :Focus Group Tester #1: Too much foul language and suggestive dialogue. :Focus Group Tester #3: Yeah, how about you model your show after something more lighthearted and wholesome, like Black Mirror? :Peter: You want a Black Mirror version of Family Guy!? Fine. :turns the TV on to a reboot titled "Black Guy"; In it, society is being overrun by zombified people, who are being brainwashed by their evil robot phones :Chris: Our new I-phones have taken over our brains and are now destroying society! :Meg: Technology is bad! People should just stop making scientific breakthroughs and the advancement of technology should just come to a complete halt! :to scene :Focus Group Tester #1: Well, that sucked. :Peter: And what was wrong with that!? :Focus Group Tester #2: All the boomer humor. :shows an old man in the focus group test :Boomer: I thought it was hilarious! Kids today are glued to their technology. :old man takes out his cellphone and starts texting ---- :Focus Group Tester: What about BoJack Horseman? :Peter: Hard no. :Focus Group Tester: You get to be a horse. :Peter: Hard yes. ---- :is BoJack Horseman :Peter: Normal words, but a horse guy! :enters as Mr. Peanutbutter :Brian: Brian Griffin and Peter Griffin in the same room? What is this, a crossover episode? :enters as Diane :Lois: I'm a sad little Asian girl with no social life and no friends. :enters as Princess Carolyn :Stewie: Sally sold seashells by the sea shore. :enters as Todd :Chris: PARTY TIME!!! :Peter: Hey, wait a minute. If we're the five main characters, then who's Meg? :shows Meg as a burnt up piece of furniture :Meg: I'm the piece of furniture that got set on fire in the Sarah Lynn episode. ---- :is an all set-up, no punchline comedian :Peter: So, any of you out there have a futon? Yeah. Yeah, right? ... I Ubered here tonight ... Man, Starbucks ... Facebook, huh? ... And how 'bout that new chip in credit cards? ... Anybody ever been to Georgia? ... The new iPhone is large ... EDM Music. :Heckler #1: offscreen Boo! You stink! :Heckler #2: offscreen Yeah! Dane Cook already did all these halves of jokes! :Peter: Hey! Hey, this is my job! I don't go down to Burger King ... ---- :Focus Group Tester: That was terrible. Netflix should make 800 more of those. ---- :Focus Group Tester: What about Big Mouth? :Peter: Why the fuck would we do that? :Von Gyner: Great idea! :Peter: No! NO! :Gyner turns on the TV to "Big Guy"; Chris is shown at school, drawn in the style of Big Mouth :Chris: Hey, guys. Check this out. :unzips his fly; Peter covers the TV screen :Peter: STOP! STOP! STOP! We can't show this on network TV. ---- :Peter: Does anybody have any network TV shows we can rip off? :Focus Group Tester: How about Young Sheldon? :Peter: How about I go to your house and murder your family? :Von Gyner: Great idea! :Gyner turns on the TV to "Young Stewie"; Stewie wears a bowtie and the other family members are wearing redneck clothes :Stewie: Glance at this matriarch and patriarch. I received an "A+" on my mathematics test. :Peter: Well, yeehaw! Good fer you, son! When yer a grown up, yer gunna get a job as a Scientologist! :Stewie: You mean a "scientist". :Lois: It's a math test, Peter. Now, Stewie, if you keep putting your mind to it, you'll get a well-paying job in accounting, someday. :enters, as Mee Maw :Meg: Either that or star in a crappy sit-com. :Stewie: Eh, whatever pays better. ---- :Focus Group Tester: I thought I read you guys were phasing out gay jokes. :Peter: That quote was taken out of context and widely misunderstood. ---- :reports on Olympic diving :Lois: Guys, just so sorry that any of this is happening, I mean, even once every four years just seems like way too much. ---- :shows up in a reboot, where everybody has a John Benjamin voice :Jerome: What can I get for you guys? ... Nobody touches my voice. ---- :Focus Group Tester: Hey, guys. The coffee beans Wi-Fi doesn't need a password. Songs *Lois! Theme Song *Sexy *One of Us is Richard Gere's Kid *Family Guy Again Theme Song *Hi, My Name is Joe *More Joe Swanson Trivia *Harry Von Gyner's name is a pun on "Hairy Vagina". *First episode where Sheila appears without Bert. *This is also the first episode where Ruth appears without Patty and Esther. *One of the Arby's executives considers Meg to be fat. *Neil's voice is deepened for "The Q". *Cleveland does not like vegan lasagna. *Captain Pedantic corrects Chris saying "Zac and I" as "Zac and me", which is the reverse of what a typical pedantic person would be. *At the end of "The Q", Chris is considered to be a character that became so popular that his actor went on to do bigger things, ruining the show for everyone else. Despite this, Chris was still considered to be one of the "unpopular characters" in the next segment, "Family Guy Again". *Chris says that Joe was his dad's best friend for 20 years. Peter met Joe in "A Hero Sits Next Door" when Chris was 13, which means that Chris is supposed to be about 33 in "Family Guy Again". *Peter considers "binge-worthy" to be a made up word, cultivated by marketing companies to brainwash people. *Descriptions for the next episodes of "Peter Griffin", the binge-worthy version of Family Guy: **"While rival influences converge in Quahog, Peter and Chris find themselves in a place they could have never foreseen." **"In times as dreary and miserable as this, not even the aquatic demise of Meg can lift anyone's dying spirits." **"Peter dies. And no, that's not a spoiler. The show's pot is so predictable, that it pretty much spoiled itself." *Peter's setup without a punchline actually does have a punchline. "Don't tell me how to do your job. I don't go to Burger King ..." The punchline is "... and tell you how to do yours." *Back in 2011, Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein mentioned they were starting development on a new adult-animated sitcom, featuring a female lead. https://www.digitalspy.com/tv/ustv/a348811/family-guy-star-confirms-new-animated-sitcom/ Never happened, obviously, much like The Flintstones, but Alex Borstein stated that some of the jokes and concepts for that scrapped series found their way into this episode's feminist TV show parody, "LOIS!". Cultural References *This episode satirizes Disney's acquisition of FOX on December 14th, 2017. **It also makes fun of Disney's recent convention of rebooting and remaking all of their old movies and TV shows as well as their tendency to identify public domain properties as their own material. *Harry Von Gyner says that not only is FOX currently owned by Disney, but in the future, Disney will be bought by Netflix and after that, Netflix will be bought by Pornhub. *List of shows, parodied in the Family Guy reboots: **American Housewife **Teen Wolf **Riverdale **Fuller House **The Conners **Bordertown **F is for Family **Black Mirror **A Series of Unfortunate Events **Bojack Horseman **Narcos **Big Mouth **Young Sheldon **The Big Bang Theory **Gilmore Girls **Antique's Road Show **Carpool Karaoke **The Olympics **Bob's Burgers **Archer *In "Lois!", the feminist reboot of Family Guy, Meg is shown wearing a pussyhat from the 2019 Women's March. *Stewie drinks a peach Coke. *The secondary focus group watching Meg eat an Arby's sandwich parodies a scene from Caddyshack in which Judge Smails' nephew Spaulding eats a booger while the caddies place wagers while watching in secret. *Meg being written off the show, by being abducted by aliens is similar to how in Roseanne, the character Arnie Thomas was written off the show by being abducted by aliens. *Unemployable Neck-Tattoo Guy's neck reads "Ezekiel 23:20". In the bible, the verse associated with this is "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." So basically, this devout Christian has a giant tattoo that subtly references to a woman who wants a man with a donkey dick that spits out horse cum. *During the Bojack Horseman parody, the "D" is missing from the "Hollywood" sign. This is a reference to the episode "Our "A" Story is a "D" Story", where Bojack stole the "D" from the "Hollywood" sign and it stayed this way for the rest of the series. *Previous notations that Family Guy was putting an end to gay jokes that originated in and during the aftermath of "Trump Guy", are reported in this episode to have been taken out of context. *The episode ends with Joe singing over Glenn Miller's "Pennsylvania 6-5000". Continuity *In "The Q", Stewie's character is Zac Sawyer, making this the alter-ego's third appearance, following "McStroke" and "Brian is a Bad Father". *A member of the focus group testing group says reminds Peter that Family Guy already did a "fourth wall breaking episode, where they make fun of their haters by changing their show to be more like more popular shows and make fun of those shows' faults." The episode he was referring to was "Emmy-Winning Episode". Deleted Scenes *Peter picking his nose and mistaking his reflection for a woman. *Joe annoying Lois, by asking her questions about going to work. *Lois describing Quagmire and Joe's archetypes, upon greeting them. *Joe saying that he and Quagmire are only allowed to pucker kiss on network TV. *Lois excited to find out whether she works at a winery or a greeting card company. *Harry Von Gyner reminding the focus group testers that their spontaneous comments will affect the jobs of hundreds of people. *Harry Von Gyner telling a woman to shut up as an argument against her thoughtful criticism against LOIS! *Cleveland serving the teens terrible vegetarian lasagna. *Connie getting accepted into the college for kids with bright futures. *Stewie not liking Peach Coke. *Stewie commenting on how Connie stiffened up her nipples. *Cleveland coming back with lasagna. *Harry Von Gyner asking focus group questions, written by Peter. *Chris explaining his masturbation joke, ruining it's subtlety. *Chris thinking Tricia might be baron. *A focus group tester asking Harry Von Gyner if he can leave if he gives him back a diet sprite. *Harry Von Gyner asking people how they would sum up the show in one sound. *A focus group tester comparing Family Guy to an empty mustard bottle. *Peter claiming that "bingeworthy" is a made up term, coined by Netflix to brainwash people. *A binge-worthy version of Family Guy. *Peter threatening to murder a focus group tester's family over Young Sheldon. *A reboot of Family Guy, parodying Antique's Road Show. *Harry Von Gyner saying that Brooklyn Nine-Nine has ugly actors. *Another gag about the empty mustard bottle. *Alternate fourth act, where the show is forced to have more Joe Swanson. Gallery Dramatic Peter and Chris.jpg Buff Nippless Chris and Neil.jpg Abby Brian Smokes a Cigar.jpg Spooky Spider.jpg Lois Jogs With Stewie.jpg Lois Gets a Job.jpg Category:Episodes Category:Season 18 Category:Parody Episodes Category:Anthology Episodes Category:Lois Episodes Category:Chris Episodes Category:Stewie Episodes Category:Neil Episodes Category:Patty, Ruth, & Esther Episodes Category:Connie Episodes Category:Brian Episodes Category:Quagmire Episodes Category:Tricia Episodes Category:Joe Episodes Category:Fourth Wall Episodes